Date: Fri, 23 Aug 1996 00:53:27 MST
Subject: Jokes R Us!!

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  One liner:  "They're directly beneath us, Moriarty.  Release the piano!"

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  Credit:  This one was forwarded to me from Stacey LaCoste
             who found it during her reading.  The author
            is on the end of this joke...

   Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. 
   He  tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks
   when he  heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!"
   
   Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
   
   "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
   
   The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he
   looked  all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the
   cage was a  parrot.
   
   He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"
   
   "Yes", said the parrot.
   
   The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What's
    your name?"
   
   "Clarence," said the bird.
   
   "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot
   named  you Clarence?"
   
   The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."
   (c) "Thompson, Sarah"