Credit: cabel@top.monad.net

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  An engineering student is walking on campus one day when another
  engineer rides up on a shiny new motorcycle.

  "Where did you get such a rockin' bike?" asked the first.

  The second engineer replied "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding
  my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw
  the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said 'Take what you want.'"

  The second engineer nodded approvingly "Good choice, the clothes
  probably wouldn't have fitted you."

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  Credit:  Twil Doe strikes again.

    A grad student, a post-doc, and a professor are walking through a city
   park and they find an antique oil lamp.  They rub it and a Genie comes
   out in a puff of smoke.
   
    The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of
   you just one."
   
    "Me first! Me first!" says the grad student.  "I want to be in the
   Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman who sunbathes topless."
   Poof! He's gone.
   
    "Me next! Me next!" says the post-doc.  "I want to be in Hawaii,
   relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai
   Tai on the other."  Poof! He's gone.
   
    "You're next," the Genie says to the professor.
   
    The professor says, "I want those guys back in the lab after lunch."