From:	CAMPY::MCGINNESS "07-Aug-1997 1635"  

Subj:	REAL STORIES OF THE NON-TECHNICALLY INCLINED
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     I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into 
     itself and for the life of them could not understand why their
     computer would not turn on.
     
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     1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
     2nd Person: "A little. What's wrong?"
     1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to
     say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it 
     again, and the same thing happened."
     2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?"
     1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone 
     else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient 
     would open it and read it."
     
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     I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do  
     you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have
     replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get 
     into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience  
     store) would have a battery for this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have 
     an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote 'thingy,'" she
     answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and 
     manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over
     there and check about the batteries...it's a long walk." 
     
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     Tech Support: "What does the screen say now." 
     Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
     Tech Support: "Well?" Person: "How do I know when it's ready?"
     
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     My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change
     his address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked 
     where Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, 
     "Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?"
     
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     Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day
     he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of  
     typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier paper," she told him. 
     With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, 
     put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
     
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     I was working the help desk. One day one of the computer operators 
     called me and asked if anything "bad" would happen if she dropped
     coins into the openings of her PC. I asked her if this was something 
     she was thinking of doing. She said, "never mind" and hung up. So I 
     got out my trusty tool kit and paid her a visit. I opened her CPU
     case and sure enough, there was 40 cents. 
     
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     One of our servers crashed. I was watching our new system
     administrator trying to restore it. He inserted a CD and needed to 
     type a path name to a directory named "i386." He started to type it 
     and paused, asking me, "Where's the key for that line thing?"
     
     I asked what he was talking about, and he said, "You know, that one 
     that looks like an upside-down exclamation mark."
     
     I replied, "You mean the letter "i"?" and he said, "Yeah, that's it!" 
     
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     This person had a broken lamp which he wanted to discard.
     Unfortunately, the power cord ran under his refrigerator, making it 
     impossible to move the lamp while the cord was attached. He decided to 
     cut the cord, since the lamp was unusable anyway. He didn't
     remember to unplug it first. I found him in the hallway rolling back 
     and forth.
     
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     I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motorhome was
     towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of 
     repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in
     "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the 
     driver had set the cruise control, then went in back to make a 
     sandwich.
     
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     I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who 
     answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?"
     
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     I rented a movie from Blockbuster. Before the movie begins a message 
     comes on the screen saying, "This movie has been altered to fit your 
     television screen." Comment from person: "How do they know what size 
     screen I have?"
     
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