Date: Sun, 11 Aug 1996 21:22:17 MST
Subject: Jokes R Us!!

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  One liner:  Button: "If we are what we eat, I could be you by morning."

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  Credit: Mary Kirk@LRC@RSC; forwarded from Karl_LeRay_at_AISANC@ccsmtp.uage.com
  Subject: Yuppie joke...
     
   A yuppie opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car
   came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the 
   police arrived at the scene, the yuppie was complaining bitterly about 
   the damage to his precious BMW.
   
   "Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!" he whined.
   
   "You yuppies are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the 
   officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't 
   even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
   
   Oh my gaaad...", replied the yuppie, finally noticing the bloody left 
   shoulder where his arm once was,
   
   "Where's my Rolex!!!!!"

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  Credit:  From our own Steve Calvert 

   A biology professor was researching frog jumping ability:
     1) He took a frog and told it to "jump".  The frog jumped 2 metres.
     2) The professor amputated one of the frog's legs and said "jump" again.
        The frog jumped 1.5 metres.
     3) The experiment was repeated with each of the frog's remaining legs.
        As expected, the distance decreased with each amputation until the
        frog did not jump at all when all of his legs were amputated.
     4) The logical conclusion is that legless frogs are deaf.

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  Credit: PYATT SCOTT ; forwarded
           by mike berryhill 
  Subject: Humor: Brainless law


   Another encounter between medicine and the law...
   
   A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner.  The attorney 
   asked, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the 
   man's pulse?"
   
   The coroner said, "No."
   
   The attorney then asked, "Did you listen for a heart beat?"
   
   "No."
   
   "Did you check for breathing?"
   
   "No."
   
   "So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps  
   to make sure the man was dead, had you?"
   
   The coroner, now tired of the brow beating said, "Well, let me put it  
   this way.  The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for   
   all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere."

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