HOW TO ANNOY OTHER PEOPLE
 
      1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch 
      paper, 99 copies.
 
      2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 
 
      3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 
 
      4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while 
      talking to others.
 
      5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 
 
      6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather 
      conditions "to keep them tuned up."
 
      7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think." 
 
      8. Practice making fax and modem noises. 
 
      9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." 
      them to your boss.
 
      10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 
 
      11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with 
      prophesy."
 
      12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over 
      your ears.
 
      13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge 
      across the room.
 
      14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. 
 
      15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and 
      insist to others that you "like it that way."
 
      16. Staple papers in the middle of the page. 
 
      17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" 
      noise.
 
      18. Honk and wave to strangers. 
 
      19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their 
      complimentary mints by the cash register.
 
      20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
 
      21. type only in lowercase.
 
      22. don t use any punctuation either 
 
      23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole 
      streets.
 
      24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: 
 
      "Do you hear that?"
      "What?"
      "Never mind, it's gone now."
 
      25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.. 
 
      26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of 
      your chin. When nearly done, announce, "no,
      wait, I messed it up," and repeat. 
 
      27. Ask people what gender they are. 
 
      28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a 
      parakeet.
 
      29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to 
      see if they slow down.
 
      30. Sing along at the opera.
 
      31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. 
 
      32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their 
      answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological
      profiles."
 
      33. TELL YOUR FRIENDS 4 DAYS PRIOR, THAT YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR PARTY 
      BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD!
 
      34. Send this list to everyone in your email address book even if they 
      sent it to you or ask you not to send things like this.
 
      35. Wear a cape.  Always.
 
      36. Inform everyone you know that you, that from now on you will be 
      referred to as "El Supremo".