Subject: Restroom Philosophies 
       
         BEAUTY IS ONLY A LIGHT SWITCH AWAY 
        -Perkins Library. Duke University 
       
       
       I'VE DECIDED THAT TO RAISE MY GRADES I MUST LOWER MY 
   STANDARDS. -Houghton Library, Harvard University. 
       
       
       IF LIFE IS A WASTE OF TIME AND TIME IS A WASTE OF LIFE, THEN 
   LET'S ALL GET WASTED TOGETHER AND HAVE THE TIME OF 
   OUR LIVES.
       
        - Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C. 
       
       
       IF BUSH WERE CAPTAIN OF THE TITANIC, HE'D SAY WE WERE 
   STOPPING FOR ICE. -Smoky Joe's, Philadelphia 
       
       
       REMEMBER, IT'S NOT, "HOW HIGH ARE YOU?" IT'S "HI, HOW ARE 
   YOU?" - Rest Stop off Route 81, West Virginia 
       
       
       BEWARE OF LIMBO DANCERS
       
       - On the bottom of the stall door, Women's bathroom, Broad 
Ripple 
   Brew Pub, Indianapolis
       
       
       
       ROME WASN'T BUILT IN A DAY... THAT'S BECAUSE IT WAS A 
   GOVERNMENT JOB. - Women's restroom. Cincinnati 
       
       
       HEY, YOUR KARMA JUST RAN OVER MY DOGMA. - Blueberry Hill, 
   St. Louis MO
       
       
       
       FLUSH TWICE, IT'S A LONG WAY TO THE KITCHEN. 
       - Restroom, Washakie Cafeteria, University of Wyoming 
       
       
   GOD MADE POT, MAN MADE BEER.  WHO DO YOU TRUST. - The 
   Irish Times, Washington, D.C.
       
       
       
       FIGHTING FOR PEACE IS LIKE SCREWING FOR VIRGINITY. - The 
   Bayou, Baton Rouge, LA
       
       
       
       NO MATTER HOW GOOD SHE LOOKS, SOME OTHER GUY IS SICK 
   AND TIRED OF PUTTING UP WITH HER SHIT. 
        - Men's room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC 
       
       
       AT THE FEAST OF EGO, EVERYONE LEAVES HUNGRY. 
        - Bently's House of coffee and tea, Tucson, AZ 
       
       
       CHRIS-JUST REMEMBER THAT THIS DOLLAR IS NOT TO BE SPENT 
   UNTIL EVERYTHING BETWEEN US IS OVER (COMPLETLY!!). 
   PLEASE REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU !!!! - TORI 
        - On dollar bill F602225237 
       
       
       IT'S HARD TO MAKE A COMEBACK WHEN YOU HAVEN'T BEEN 
   ANYWHERE. - written in the dust on the back of a bus. 
   Wickenburg, AZ
       
       
       
       MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR.  HELL DO BOTH, GET MARRIED. -Women's 
   restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT 
       
       
        IF VOTING COULD REALLY CHANGE THINGS, IT WOULD BE 
   ILLEGAL. - Revolution Books, NY
       
       
       
       THIS BUBBLE GUM TASTES LIKE RUBBER.  YEAH, BUT IS LASTS A 
   LONG TIME.  AND IT BLOWS GREAT BUBBLES. 
         - Codom machine.  Missoula, MT 
       
       
       A WOMAN'S RULE OF THUMB, IF IT HAS TIRES OR TESTICLES, 
   YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TROUBLE WITH IT. 
        - Women's restroom, Dallas, TX 
       
       
       JESUS SAVES!  BUT WOULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN BETTER IF HE WOULD 
   HAVE INVESTED. - Mens restroom, American University 
       
       
       JUST 'CAUSE IT'S CLEAN DON'T MEAN IT'S FRESH. - Port-O'-John's, 
   Acadia Nat'l Park, Maine
       
       
       
        IF PRO IS OPPOSITE OF CON, THEN WHAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF 
   PROGRESS? CONGRESS.
       
        - Men's restroom, House of Representatives, Washington, D.C. 
       
       
       BILL CLINTON THREW UP HERE.
       
        - The Oyster Bar.  Little Rock, AK 
       
       
       LSD CONSUMES 47 TIMES ITS WEIGHT IN EXCESS REALITY. - mens 
   room The 400 Bar, Minneapolis, MN 
       
       
       I USED TO BE INTO NECROPHILIA AND BEASTIALITY....BUT THEN I 
   REALIZED I WAS JUST KICKING A DEAD HORSE. 
        - The Cellar Restaurant, VA 
       
       
       IF IT WASN'T INTENDED TO BE EATEN, IT WOULDN'T BE SHAPED LIKE 
   A TACO. - Nathan's, Washington, D.C. 
       
       
       WHY DO DRUNK MEN MISS THE TOILET?  WHY DO SOBER MEN? - 
   South Main Cafe. VA
       
       
       
       WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING UP ON THE WALL FOR?  THE JOKE IS IN 
   YOUR HANDS. - Mens room, Lynagh's Bar. Lexington, KY 
       
       
       HEY NIKE, I JUST DID IT.
       
        - Tastee Diner, Bethesda, MD 

The Bells
wstuart@uio.satnet.net