>Subject: Mirror, mirror
>Date: Fri, 21 Mar 97 15:00:04 -0400
>X-Sender: crowland@wsj.dowjones.com
>From: Chris Rowland 
>To: "Rich Keehn" 
>
>You may have heard this one before; I don't remember if I did or not, but 
>in any case, this rendition is refreshingly well-worded.
>
>----------
>
>Be careful what you wish for...
>
>A man and wife were buying and furnishing a new home.  They needed lots
>of things since it was much bigger than their first home, and the
>husband agreed if she so desired, she could furnish it with antiques,
>asking only that she keep the price down as much as possible.
>
>One of the things she wanted was a full-length mirror to hang on the
>back of the master bedroom door.  To that end she was shopping one day
>on a street catering to old, massive furniture and accessories when she
>spotted a shop she had not seen before.  Upon entering the owner
>listened to what she wanted, then said he had exactly the right item for
>her.  He led her towards the rear of the shop, and there, right in front
>of her, was a massive walnut-framed mirror, approximately six feet high
>and two-and-a-half feet wide -- perfect!
>
>"But I should warn you, madame, of one thing about this mirror.  Be
>careful what you wish for in its presence for it is a magic mirror and
>will grant you anything you desire, so long as it is in verse -- you
>know, the request rhymes."
>
>She raised an eyebrow at him, thought oh, sure, to herself, and waited
>to be told the bad news.  "And just how much are you asking for this
>mirror?" she asked, sure she was about to be shocked at the gall of the
>man.
>
>"For you, madame, only $60.00 he replied, smiling sweetly.
>
>She was shocked all right, but not at any overpricing.  "How much did
>you say?"
>
>This went on for a while, the man assuring her that, yes, it was $60.00
>for the whole mirror, frame, silver and all, and, yes, it was indeed a
>magic mirror.  Finally, figuring she simply couldn't go wrong, she
>bought the mirror and arranged for it to be delivered that very
>afternoon -- the delivery men would even hang it on the door for her as
>a courtesy.
>
>So three hours later she was standing in absolute admiration of the
>picture of this gorgeous mirror hanging on the back of her bedroom
>door.  Then a thought crept into her mind regarding the shop owner's
>claim of magic about the mirror.  Since her husband had not returned
>from work yet, she was alone, and feeling really ridiculous, she looked
>into the mirror and said:
>
> "Mirror, mirror on the door,
>  Make my boobs size 44."
>
>And WHAM!  There she stood, the buttons on her blouse having all been
>blasted off with the force of the change in her anatomy, quivering and
>heaving, her erstwhile semi-flat chest suddenly turning into a
>wowie-chest.
>
>"I'm home, honey," at that very moment sounded from downstairs.  Her
>husband was in for some surprise!  Running -- and bouncing, for once in
>her life -- she flew down the stairs and slid to a halt in front of his
>wide-opened mouth, the expression above it going from shock to anger.
>
>"I told you not to buy one of those bras, sweetheart!  It is flying
>under false pretenses, and I --"
>
>"But, honey, take another look," she interrupted.  After all, the
>visible 32B bra was strained all out of shape, flesh bulging all around
>it.  He looked, but still was confused, naturally.
>
>"Did you have implants?"  And the second he asked it, he knew it was a
>silly question.  After all, he'd seen her only that morning, and there
>was no way she could be this hale and hearty if she'd had surgery.
>
>"No, dear, it's the mirror I bought today."  And she proceeded to tell
>him, in great detail, about their new magic mirror hanging on the door.
>The more she explained, the more skeptical he became.  The more he
>questioned her in word and look, the more irritated she became.
>Finally, in a pique of anger, she said, "Oh, never mind believing your
>wife, of course!"  At that she slammed out the front door, heedless of
>the disarray of her clothing, and went next door to see her friend, one
>she felt would certainly believe her.
>
>The husband stood for a moment staring at the still shuddering door,
>thought a moment longer, then headed upstairs where in short time he
>confronted the so-called magic mirror, the one that supposedly had just
>turned his wife from Twiggy to Jayne.
>
>Now, HE was the one alone in a room with a magic mirror.  Flushing
>slightly with the silliness of it all, he faced the mirror, cleared his
>throat, and firmly intoned:
>
> "Mirror, mirror on the door,
>  Make my penis touch the floor."
>
>And his dick fell off.
>
>........................................................................