Date: Mon, 15 Jul 1996 23:28:58 MST
Subject: Jokes R Us!!

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  One liner:  Enter any 12-digit prime number to continue.

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  Credit:  96sp272 <96sp272@dvc.edu>; forwarded 
            from cboyda@oanet.com (PeekMyster)

   College Seniors vs. Freshmen
   
   Freshmen:  Are never in bed past noon.
   Seniors:   Are never out of bed before noon.
   
   Freshmen:  Read the syllabus to find out what classes they can cut.
   Seniors:   Read the syllabus to find out what classes they need to attend.
   
   Freshmen:  Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.
   Seniors:   Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mtn. Dew into a
              recitation class.
   
   Freshmen:  Calls the professor "Professor."
   Seniors:   Calls the professor "Bob."
   
   Freshmen:  Would walk ten miles to get to class.
   Seniors:   Drives to class if it's further than three blocks away.
   
   Freshmen:  Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.
   Seniors:   Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade.
   
   Freshmen:  Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university.
   Seniors:   Knows where the next class is.  Maybe...
   
   Freshmen:  Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed.
   Seniors:   Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box
              of pop tarts in hand.
   
   Freshmen:  Have to ask where the computer labs are.
   Seniors:   Has 'own' personal workstation.
   
   Freshmen:  Use the campus buses to go everywhere.
   Seniors:   Use the campus buses to run block while crossing the street.
   
   Freshmen:  Worry about the last freshman composition essay.
   Seniors:   Worry about the last GRE essay.
   
   Freshman:  Lines up for an hour to buy his textbooks in the first week.
   Senior:    Starts to think about buying textbooks in October... maybe.
   
   Freshman:  Looks forward to first classes of the year
   Senior:    Looks forward to first beer garden of the year
   
   Freshman:  Is proud of his A+ on Calculus I midterm
   Senior:    Is proud of not _quite_ failing his Complex Analysis midterm
   
   Freshman:  Calls his girlfriend back home every other night
   Senior:    Calls Domino's every other night
   
   Freshman:  Is appalled at the class size and callousness of profs
   Senior:    Is appalled that the campus 'Subway' burned down over the summer
   
   Freshman:  Conscienciously completes all homework, including optional
              questions
   Senior:    Offers to 'tutor' conscientious frosh of opposite sex...
   
   Freshman:  Goes on grocery shopping trip with Mom before moving onto campus
   Senior:    Has a beer with Mom before moving onto campus
   
   Freshman:  Is excited about the world of possibilities that awaits him,
              the unlimited vista of educational opportunities, the chance to
              expand one's horizons and really make a contribution to society
   Senior:    Is excited about new dryers in laundry room
   
   Freshman:  Takes meticulous four-color notes in class
   Senior:    Occasionally stays awake for all of class
   
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