credit: www.laughnet.net

"BEFORE I CAME TO COLLEGE I WISH I HAD KNOWN..." 

That it didn't matter how late I scheduled my first class,
      I'd sleep right through it.
 That I could change so much and barely realize it.
 That you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways.
 That college kids throw airplanes too.
 That if you wear polyester everyone will ask you why you're so       
      dressed up.
 That every clock on campus shows a different time.
 That if you were smart in high school--so what?
 That I would go to a party the night before a final.
 That chem labs require more time than all my classes put together.
 That you can know everything and fail a test.
 That you can know nothing and ace a test.
 That I could get used to almost anything I found out about my        
      roommate.
 That home is a great place to visit.
 That  most of my education would be obtained outside of my classes.
 That friendship is more than getting drunk together.
 That I would be one of those people my parents warned me about.
 That free food served until 10:00 is gone by 9:50.
 That Sunday is a figment of the world's imagination.
 That Psychology is really Biology,
 That Biology is really Chemistry, That Chemistry is really Physics,
      and Physics is really Math.
 That my parents would become so much smarter in the last few years.
 That it's possible to be alone even when you are surrounded by  friends
 That friends are what makes this place worthwhile!!
 Don't be dismayed at goodbyes.
 A farewell is necessary before we can meet again,
      and meeting again, after moments or a lifetime is certain for   
      those who are friends.

-----

credit:  cjbeaman@acs.ucalgary.ca
               TOP TEN REASONS STUDYING IS BETTER THAN SEX!
 
  10.   YOU CAN USUALLY FIND SOMEONE TO DO IT WITH.
 
  9.    IF YOU GET TIRED, YOU CAN STOP, SAVE YOUR PLACE AND PICK UP
        WHERE YOU LEFT OFF.
 
  8.    YOU CAN FINISH EARLY WITH-OUT FEELINGS OF GUILT OR SHAME.
 
  7.    WHEN YOU OPEN A BOOK, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHO ELSE HAS
        OPENED IT.
 
  6.    A LITTLE COFFEE AND YOU CAN DO IT ALL NIGHT.
 
  5.    IF YOU DON'T FINISH A CHAPTER YOU WON'T GAIN A REPUTATION AS
 		A "BOOK TEASER"
 
  4.    YOU CAN DO IT, EAT AND WATCH T.V. ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
 
  3.    YOU DON'T GET EMBARASSED IF YOUR PARENTS INTERRUPT YOU IN THE
        MIDDLE.
 
  2.    YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT YOUR BEER DOWN TO DO IT.
 
  1.    IF YOU AREN'T SURE WHAT YOU'RE DOING, YOU CAN ALWAYS ASK YOUR
        ROOMMATE FOR HELP!