===

  One liner:  Blessed are the meek, for they make great scapegoats.

---

  Credit:  Bobby H ; forwarded by
             Stacey LaCoste 
  Subject: Tenure

   The juvenile sea squirt meanders about the sea searching for a
   suitable rock or hunk of coral to cling to and to make its home for
   life.

   For this task, the squirt has a rudimentary nervous system. When it
   finds its spot and takes root, it doesn't need its brain any more, so it
   eats it. 

   It's kinda like a college professor getting tenure.  

--- 
 
  Credit:  Antonio Oliveros Fernandez" ;
            forwarded by Stacey LaCoste 
  Subject: Two rabbits

   Two rabbits were being chased across a field by a pack of wolves, and they
   jumped into a haystack.  
 
   The first rabbit says to the second, "What ya think, should we try to 
   outrun them or outnumber them?"  

   The second rabbit turns to the first and replied, "Well, Charlie, I think 
   we better outrun 'em.  I'm your brother."
   
-===

  One liner:  C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. 

---

  Credit: scottpatrick@juno.com (Scott E Patrick)
  Subject: Poetic License?

   The third grade teacher was teaching English and repeated for her class:

    "Mary had a little lamb, whose fleece was white as snow/And everywhere
     that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go."  

   She explained that this was an example of poetry, but could be changed 
   to prose by changing the last line from "the lamb was sure to go" to 
   "the lamb went with her."
   
   A few days later she asked for an example of poetry or prose.  Johnny
   raised his hand and recited,  "Mary had a little pig, and ornery little
   runt/He stuck his nose in Mary's clothes, and smelled her little--" 
   
   He stopped and asked the teacher if she wanted poetry or prose.
   
   "Prose!" the teacher said weakly.
   
   So Johnny said, "Asshole."