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  One liner:  Long computations that yield zero are probably all for naught.

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  Credit:  kLaSp (klasp@escape.com); forwarded by Orlie (ocapulon@ic.sunysb.edu)
  Subject:  Truck Repair

   A middle-aged businessman took a young woman half his age as his 
   wife.  The fantasy of having a young woman in his  bed soon became 
   a nightmare when he found that he could not  last long enough to 
   satisfy his young bride.
   His wife, as understanding as she was exciting, told  him that 
   all was well even if he was quick to get out of the  saddle.
   
   Determined to satisfy this sweet young thing, the man visited the 
   doctor to get some advice.
   
   "Doctor, I can't seem to hold back for very long when I  make 
   love to my young wife and I can't satisfy her.  What  can I do?" 
   
   The doctor smiled, patted him on the shoulder, and said  in a 
   professional manner, "Try a bit of self-stimulation  before having 
   intercourse with your wife and you'll find  that you'll last 
   longer and ultimately satisfy her."
   
   "Okay, Doctor.  If you think that will help." 
   
   Later that afternoon, his young bride called him at  work to let 
   him know that she would be attacking him at the  front door when 
   he arrived home.
   
   "Be prepared, my darling.  I'm going to ravish you,"  she cooed 
   over the phone.
   
   Undaunted, the man decided to follow the doctor's  advice.  But 
   where?  In the office?  The Xerox room?  What  if someone walked 
   in on him?
   
   He got in his truck and began the journey home.  Soon  he 
   decided he would find a spot on the road to pull over,  climb 
   underneath the truck and pretend to be inspecting the  rear axle, 
   and do the deed there.
   
   A moment later, he pulled over, crawled beneath the  truck, 
   closed his eyes tightly, fantasized about his young  wife, and 
   began his "therapy".
   
   A few minutes later, just as he was about to complete  his therapy 
   session,  he felt someone tugging on his pants  leg.  Keeping his 
   eyes tightly shut to avoid ruining the  fantasy he was enjoying, 
   he said, "Yes?"

   "Sir, I'm with the Police Department.  Could you tell me what you 
   are doing, please?" said the officer.
   
   "Yes, officer, I'm inspecting my truck's rear axle," he replied 
   confidently.
   
   "Well, why don't you check the brakes while you're down there.  
   Your truck rolled down the hill a few minutes ago."
   
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