Subject: Things Children Say


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was 
trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all 
grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 
'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"

A small voice, Johnny's,  at the back of the room rang 
out, "And there's the teacher . . . she's dead."

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An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks
 to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity.  
When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for 
the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child.


The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high 
so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby. 


The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little 
while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet 
and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take 
his first breath.  The doctor then asked the 5-year-old 
what he thought of the baby.


"Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn't 
have crawled up in there in the first place!"

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During a dinner party, the hosts' two little 
children entered the dining
Room totally nude and walked slowly around 
the table.
  The parents were so embarrassed that they 
pretended nothing was happening and kept the 
conversation going. The guests cooperated and 
also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening.
  After going all the way around the room, the 
children left, and there was a moment of silence at the 
table, during which one child was heard to say, "You 
see, it IS vanishing cream!"