Overheard in Air Traffic Control.

Situation: Winter time in the south, Aircraft flying along his route of
flight.

There had been reports from other pilots of icing (a hazardous
accumulation of ice in various forms on aircraft control surfaces and in
the carburator) along their routes.

Female Controller: "N123Z, verify you have icing on your route." 
(Pronounced "ROOT" in the south)

(pause)

Male pilot of N123Z: "It's cold up here ma'am, but not that cold."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Why are you in this particular line of work?" a sociology researcher 
asked the massage-parlor girl.

"I'm trying to pay back this loan shark named Paul something or 
other," she said.  "So I'm literally rubbing peters to pay Paul."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm currently taking a Shakespeare course, 
and the first play we are studying is Hamlet.  My professor saw 
a performance of this play in London. During the scene at the 
end of the third act where Hamlet is verbally berating his 
mother, the actor portraying Hamlet ripped all his clothes off
and stood up straight with full frontal nudity.

My professor could not comprehend this interpretation until he 
was on the plane coming back home to the states.  He 
informed his wife that it was "a tribute to Willie".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I am a diabetic and had the opportunity to explain to a 
friend how I test my blood sugar levels using a glucose
test kit.  As I held the lancet in preparation of drawing 
blood, I explained, "the first thing I do is finger my prick..."