REASONS FOR REJECTING A GUY!!  
                 - Submitted by K Osteb
         ____________________________________


THE MR. RIGHT REJECTION LETTER FORM

Dear [____rejectee's name here_____]
     
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further 
contention as Mr. Right.  As you are probably aware, the competition 
was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as 
yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your 
name on file should an opening become available.  So that you may find 
better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to 
offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:

[Check all those that apply]
     
___  Your breasts are bigger than mine.

___  Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, 
hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.
          
___  The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at 
McDonald's reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.
     
___  Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload" 
indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my 
personality.
    
___  You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions 
about yourself before you asked me one.
     
___  Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants, 
then you can't GET into my pants.

___  Your "Putting on a few, aren't you babe?" comment, given the 
9-months pregnant size of your beer gut, was inappropriate.
     
___  You failed the credit check.

___  I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
     
___  The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals 
an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
     
___  The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.
     
___  You still live with your parents.
      
___  You mention your ex-girlfriend's name more than you mention mine.

___  Three words:  size does matter. 
     
               Sincerely,
                   
               [Your name here]