The Advantages of Being a Man!


--Phone conversations last 30 seconds.

--You know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes.

--A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.

--Bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

--You can open all your own jars.

--Old friends don't give you a hard time if you've lost or
  gained weight.

--When clicking through the channels you don't have to stop on
  every shot of someone crying.

--You can go to the bathroom alone (with no children).

--Your last name stays put.

--You can leave a hotel room bed unmade.

--You can kill your own food.

--The garage is all yours.

--You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

--You never have to clean the toilet.

--You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.

--Wedding plans take care of themselves.

--If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can
  still be your friend.

--Your underwear costs $7.50 for a pack of 3.

--None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

--If you're 34 and single, no one notices.

--Chocolate is just another snack.

--You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

--Flowers fix everything (or duct tape).

--You never have to worry about other's feelings.

--Three pair of shoes are more than enough.

--You can say anything and not worry about what people think.

--You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

--Car mechanics tell you the truth.

--You don't care if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.

--You can watch a game in silence for hours without your buddy
  thinking "He must be mad at me".

--One mood, all the time.

--You can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve yourself
  to look like him.

--Same work........more pay.

--Gray hair and wrinkles add character.

--Wedding dress $2000, Tux rental $100 bucks.

--You don't care if someone is talking behind your back.

--You don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone else's.

--The remote is yours and yours alone.

--You need not pretend you're "freshening up" when you go to the
  bathroom.

--If you don't call your buddy when you said you would, he won't
  tell your friends you've changed.

--If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you
  might become lifelong buddies.

--The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

--If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a
  hammer and throw it across the room.

--New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.