The following are actual stories told to travel agents


A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was
possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into
Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an 
hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the 
concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very
fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your
physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage 
belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" 
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag 
on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any 
connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" 
(I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for 
Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on 
her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which 
plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, 
"I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these damn planes have 
numbers on them."

A woman called and said, " I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those 
computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter 
plane.  She said, "Yea, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he
needed in order to fly to China.  After a lengthy discussion about passports, 
I reminded him he needed a visa.  "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many 
times and never had to have one of those."  I double checked, and sure 
enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've 
been to China 4 times and every time they have accepted my American 
Express."

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over 
all the cost info, she asked, "Would it is cheaper to fly to California and then 
take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain 
the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted 
me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in 
Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid 
one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in 
Africa."  Her response....click.

A secretary called in looking for hotel in Los Angeles. She gave me 
various names off a list, none of which I could find I finally had her fax 
me the list. To my surprise, it was a list of hotels in New Orleans, 
Louisiana.  She thought the LA stood for Los Angeles, and that 
New Orleans was a suburb of L.A. Worst of all, when I called her 
back, she was not even embarrassed.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what
was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an 
ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied,
"Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."

I got a call from a man who asked, "is it possible to see England from
Canada?" I said, "No."  He said, "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I 
pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay-over in Dallas.
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ""I hear Dallas 
was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."