Things NOT to say to a naked guy
 
  I've smoked fatter joints than that.
  Ahh, it's cute.
  Why don't we just cuddle?
  It's more fun to look at.
  It looks like a night crawler.
  Wow!  Strange, cuz your feet are so big.
  My last boyfriend was 4" bigger.
  It's ok, we'll work around it.
  Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
  Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
  Oh no, a flash headache.
  (giggle and point)
  Can I be honest with you?
  My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
  How sweet, you brought incense.
  This explains your car.
  Are you one of those pygmies?
  Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
  Every heard of clearasil?
  All right, a treasure hunt!
  Why is God punishing you?
  I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
  Maybe it looks better in natural light.
  Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
  Aww, it's hiding.
  If you get me real drunk first.
  Is that an optical illusion?
  It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
  So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
  But it still works, right?