PHILOSOPHIES TO GET YOU
 THROUGH THE DAY 
  
 ******
 If at first you don't succeed, 
 destroy all evidence that you tried.
 ******
 A conclusion is the place where
 you got tired of thinking.
 ******
 Experience is something you don't
 get until just after you need it.
 ******
 For every action, there is an equal 
 and opposite criticism.
 ******
 He who hesitates is probably right.
 ******
 Never do card tricks for the group
  you play poker with.
 ******
 No one is listening until you make 
 a mistake.
 ******
 Success always occurs in private, 
 and failure in full view.
 ******
 The colder the X-ray table, the more
 of your body is required on it.
 ******
 The hardness of the butter is 
 proportional to the softness of the 
 bread.
 ******
 The severity of the itch is proportional
 to the reach.
 ******
 To steal ideas from one person
 is plagiarism; to steal from many is
 research.
 ******
 To succeed in politics, it is often 
 necessary to rise above your
 principles.
 ******
 Two wrongs are only the beginning.
 ******
 You never really learn to swear until
 you learn to drive.
 ******
 The problem with the gene pool is that
 there is no lifeguard.
 ******
 Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th 
 of your life.
 ******
 The sooner you fall behind, the more
  time you'll have to catch up.
 ******
 The light at the end of the tunnel is the
 headlight of an approaching train.
 ******