The Lifestyle section of The New York Times has just released its annual 
"His & Her Trends" list (today's dispatch to follow):
    The Perfect Day for Her:
 
    08:15  Wakeup to hugs and kisses
    08:30  Weigh in 5lbs lighter than yesterday
    08:45  Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants
   09:15  Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil
   10:00  Light workout at club with handsome, funny, personal trainer
   10:30  Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb out
   12:00  Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
   12:45  Notice ex-boyfriends wife, she has gained 30lbs
   13:00  Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
   15:00  Nap
   16:00  3 dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer
   16:15  Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage
   17:30  Pick out outfit for dinner, primp before the mirror
   19:30  Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing
   22:00  Hot shower (alone)
   22:30  Make love
   23:00  Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
   23:15  Fall asleep in his big strong arms
 
 
           The Perfect Day for Him:
 
   06:00  Alarm
   06:15  Blowjob
   06:30  Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today
   07:00  Breakfast, Filet mignon and eggs, toast and coffee
   07:30  Limo arrives
   07:45  Stoli Bloody Mary enroute to airport
   08:15  Private jet to Augusta, Georgia  (Coffee, Sports Illustrated 
                and Wall Street Journal)
   09:30  Limo to Augusta National Golf Club
   09:45  Front nine at Augusta (2 under)
   11:45  Lunch, 2 dozen oysters on the half shell, 3 Heinekens
   12:15  Blowjob
   12:30  Back nine Augusta (4 under)
   14:15  Limo back to airport (Bombay martini)
   14:30  Private jet, Augusta to Nassau, Bahamas  (nap)
   15:15  Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female(topless)crew
   16:30  Land world-record, light-tackle Marlin (1249 lbs)
   17:00  Private jet home, massage & hand job enroute by 
                naked Kathy Ireland
   18:45  Shit, shower and shave
   19:00  Watch CNN newsflash:  Clinton resigns, Hillary and Al Gore
                farm animal video released and authenticated.
   19:30  Dinner, Lobster appetizers, Dom Perigon (1963), 20 oz. 
                 New York Steak
   21:00  Remy Martin and Cuban Partagas cigar
   21:30  Sex with three women
   23:00  Massage and Jacuzzi
   23:45  Bed (alone)
   23:50  12 second, 4 octave fart, dog leaves the room
   23:55  Giggle yourself to sleep