Date: Sat, 19 Oct 1996 02:32:25 MST
Subject: Joke 21

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  One liner:  Bankers do it with interest, but pay for early withdrawl.

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  Credit: Peter Ogden ; forward 
           by Will "The Web dude" Northgrave 

 
   Top Ten Things Men SHOULDN'T say out loud in Victoria's Secret: 
    #10  Does this come in children's sizes? 
    #9   No Thanks.  Just Sniffing.
    #8   I'll be in the dressing room going blind. 
    #7   Mom will love this.
    #6   Do you have this with a Dallas Cowboys Logo on it? 
    #5   No need to wrap it up, I'll eat it here. 
    #4   Will you model this for me??? 
    #3   Oh honey, you'll never squeeze your fat ass into that! 
    #2   45 bucks?? You're just gonna end up NAKED anyway!! 
   
   And the number one thing that a man should never, ever say out loud  
   inn Victoria's secret:
     
    #1   The Miracle What???  This is better than world peace!! 
     
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  Credit: kLaSp ; forward by Orlie 
  

   Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being 
   sized up by St. Peter.
   
   "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send 
   you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a 
   computer in almost  every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly 
   Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've
   never done before in your case; I'm going to let you decide where you want 
   to go."
   
   Bill replied, "well, what's the difference between the two?" St. Peter said, 
   "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your 
   decision."
   
   "Fine, but where should I go first?"
   
   "I'll leave that up to you."
   
   "Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."
   
   So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear 
   waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, 
   laughing and frolicking about.  The sun was shining; the temperature 
   perfect. He was very pleased.
   
   "This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I REALLY  want to see 
   heaven!""Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.
   
   Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing 
   harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.
   
   Bill  thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmm.  I think 
   I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.
   
   "Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire."
   
   So Bill Gates went to Hell.
   
   Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see 
   how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a 
   wall, screaming amongst  hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured 
   by  demons.
   
   "How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
   
   Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This 
   is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I  visited two weeks ago!  I can't 
   believe this is happening! What  happened to that other place, with the 
   beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?!???"
   
   "That was a demo," replied St. Peter. 
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