Parrot Profanity
Credit: shianna@huggles.com

So there's this fella with a parrot, and this parrot swears like a sailor.
I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without
repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet,
conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. 

One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat,
shakes him really hard, and yells, "quit it!!!" But this just makes the
bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and locks the
bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and
scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with
a stream of vulgarities that would make a veteran sailor blush. 

At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds there is a terrible din: the bird kicks and claws
and thrashes. But then it suddenly gets very quiet... At first the guy just
waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a
couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer
door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says,
"awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my
vocabulary from now on." 

The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come
over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "by the way, what did the chicken in
there do?" 



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Subject:  Parrots
Credit: mhigg2@aol.com


A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. 
I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one 
thing."  What do they say?" the priest inquired.  They say 'Hi, we're 
prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'"  That's obscene!" the priest 
exclaimed. Then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a 
solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots whom I have 
taught to pray and read the bible.  Bring your two female parrots over to 
my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots 
can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to 
stop saying ...that phrase... in no time."  "Thank you," the woman 
responded, "this may very well be the solution."  The next day, she brought 
her female parrots to the priest's house.   As he ushered her in, she saw 
that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and 
praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. 
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're 
prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"  There was a stunned silence. 
Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and 
exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been 
answered.....