Credit: kehlndeb@cyberia.com

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the 
Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, 
but our computer's down. You'll have to go back to Earth for 
about a week, but you can't go back as humans.  What'll it be?"

The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, 
soaring above the Rocky mountains."  "So be it," says St. 
Peter, and off flies the first priest.

The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, 
"Will any of this week 'count', St. Peter?"  "No, I told you the 
computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of 
what you're doing.  The week's a freebie."  "In that case," 
says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud." 

"So be it," says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.

A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells 
St. Peter to recall the two priests.  "Will you have any trouble 
locating them?" He asks. "The first one should be easy," says 
St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the 
eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult."

"Why?" asketh the Lord.  St. Peter answered, "He's on a 
snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota."
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Credit: FIG4159@aol.com

Three men show up at St.  Peter's gate at the same time.  
St.  Peter asks, "Were you all in an accident together?" "No," they all answer.  

First man says, "I'm an attorney and I had to take three 
depositions this morning, but only two people showed 
up, so I went home early.  When I got there, I noticed a 
half empty bottle of champagne and two glasses.  My 
wife was in a skimpy little thing that she never wears for 
me, so I figured there was someone else with her.  I looked 
out the window and there's this guy running down the street, 
zipping up his pants and buttoning his shirt.  Well, I got so 
mad, I picked up the refrigerator and through it out the 
window at him. Just then, I had a heart attack and died." 

The second man says, "I was late for a deposition and was 
running down the street getting dressed, when all of a sudden, 
a refrigerator came flying out of this window and hit me and I died." 

The third man says, "I don't know what happened.  The last 
thing I remember is I was hiding in this refrigerator and here I am."