From: hohenshell.cj@pg.com
Subject: Understanding Engineers

In the high school gym, all the girls in the class were lined up against 
one wall, and all the boys against the opposite wall. Then, every ten 
seconds, they walked toward each other until they were half the previous 
distance apart. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were 
asked, "When will the girls and boys meet?" 

  The mathematician said: "Never."

  The physicist said: "In an infinite amount of time." 

  The engineer said: "Well... in about two minutes, they'll be close enough
 for all practical purposes."
  ************************************************** 

  SUBJ: Comprehending Engineers -- Take Two

  There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all 
  things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30
  years, he happily retired. Several years later his company contacted 
  him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with
  one of their multimillion dollar machines. They had tried everything 
  and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. In
  desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so 
  many of their problems in the past.

  The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying 
  the huge machine. At the end of the day he marked a small x in chalk 
  on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, "This is 
  where your problem is". The part was replaced and the machine worked 
  perfectly again.

  The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his 
  service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The 
  engineer responded briefly:

     One chalk mark .. ..... .....    $1
     Knowing where to put it ..... $49,999 

  It was paid in full and the engineer retired in peace. 
  ****************************************************** 

SUBJ: Comprehending Engineers -- Take Three 

  The Top 10 Things Engineering School didn't teach 

  10. There are at least 10 types of capacitors. 

  9. Theory tells you how a circuit works, not why it does not work. 

  8. Not everything works according to the specs in the data book. 

  7. Anything practical you learn will be obsolete before you use it, 
     except the complex math, which you will never use.

  6. Always try to fix the hardware with software. 

  5. Engineering is like having an 8 a.m. class and a late afternoon lab 
every day for the rest of your life.

  4. Overtime pay? What overtime pay? 

  3. Managers, not engineers, rule the world. 

  2. If you like junk food, caffeine and all-nighters, go into software.

  1. Dilbert is a documentary.
  ********************************************************* 

  SUBJ: Comprehending Engineers -- Take Four

  Q: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

  A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.