From:	BURKD@POLAROID.COM
Sent:	Monday, June 29, 1998 2:23 AM
Subject:	found in the in-box

 SAN FRANCISCO, CA
 Congratulations on your purchase of Windows 98 (C), the latest version
 of the world's #1 computer operating system from Microsoft. Before
 using your new software, please take the time to read  these instructions
 carefully. Failure to do so may further limit the terms of the limited warranty.

 Windows 98 (C) represents a significant technological improvement over
Microsoft's previous operating system, Windows 95 (C). You'll notice
immediately that "98" is a larger number than "95," a better than 3 percent
increase. But that's not all. Windows 98 (C) contains many features not
found in Windows 95 (C), or in any competing computer operating system,
if there were any. Among the improvements: faster storing and retrieving of
files (not in all models), enhanced "Caps Lock" and back-space functionality, 
smoother handling, less knocking and pinging, an easy-to-follow 720-page 
User's Guide, and rugged weather-resistant shrink wrap around the box. Most 
important, Windows 98 (C) offers superior compatibility with all existing Microsoft 
products. We're betting that you'll never use another company's software again.

 Windows 98 (C) comes factory-loaded with the latest version of Microsoft  
Explorer, the world's most popular Internet browser. And despite what you may 
have heard from the U.S. Department of Justice, Windows 98 (C)  offers you 
the freedom to select the Internet browser of your choice, whether

 it's the one produced by the world's largest and most trusted software  
producer, or by a smaller company that will either go out of business or 
become part of the Microsoft family.

 Configuring Windows 98 (C) to use a browser other than Microsoft Explorer 
is easy. Simply open the "Options" folder, click on the "time bomb" icon, 
and select "Load Inferior Browser." A dialog box will ask "Are you sure?"  
Click "yes." This question may be asked several more times in different 
ways;  just keep clicking "yes." Eventually, the time-bomb icon will enlarge 
to fill  the entire screen, signifying that the browser is being loaded. You'll 
know  the browser is fully loaded when the fuse on the time bomb "runs 
out" and  the screen "explodes." If at any time after installation you become  
disappointed with the slow speed and frequent data loss associated with 
other  browsers, simply tap the space bar on your keyboard. Microsoft 
Explorer will  automatically be re-installed--permanently.

 Windows 98 (C) also corrects, for the first time anywhere, the "Year 2000" 
computer problem. As you may know, most computers store the current 
year as a two-digit number and, as a result, many will mistake the year 
2000 for  1900. Windows 98 (C) solves the problem by storing the year 
as a four-digit number and, in theory, you won't have to upgrade this 
part of the operating system until the year 10000. However, the extra 
memory required to record the year in four digits has prompted a few 
minor changes in the software's internal calendar. Henceforth, Saturday 
and Sunday will be stored as single day, known as "Satsun," and the month 
of June will be replaced by two  15-day months called "Bill" and "Melissa."

 Please also take the time to complete the online registration form. It only 
takes a few minutes and will help us identify the key softwareproblems  
our customers want addressed. Be assured that none of the information 
you  provide, whether it's your Social Security number, bank records, 
fingerprints, retina scan or sexual history, will be shared with any outside 
company not already designated as a Microsoft DataShare partner. 

 We've done our best to make using Windows 98 (C) as trouble-free 
as possible. We want to hear from you if you're having any problems 
at all with your software. Simply call our toll-free Helpline and follow the 
recorded instructions carefully. (The Helpline is open every day but 
Satsun, and is closed for the entire month of Bill.)

 If we don't hear from you, we'll assume your software is working  
perfectly, and an electronic message to that effect will be forwarded 
to the  Justice Department. We'll also send, in your name, a letter to 
the editor of  your hometown newspaper, reminding him or her that 
American consumers want  software designed by companies that 
are free to innovate, not by government bureaucrats.

 Again, thanks for choosing Windows 98 (C).