Subject: Joke 15

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  One liner:  Eat Healthy, Exercise, and Die Anyway ...

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  Credit:  Ione Skafte 

   The president of Chase Manhattan Bank, after being humiliated by an old
   woman, decides he should take a vacation/business trip.  Since the
   president has heard about how fun Taipei is, he decides to visit the 
   offices there.  He books two tickets, one for him and one for his secretary.
   
   After his arrival in Taipei, the president receives an urgent message
   from headquarters that the richest man in Taiwan wants to put all his money
   into a Chase Manhattan account.  Since the account would be quite 
   substantial, the president decides to meet personally with the man.
       
   The next day, the president and his secretary go to meet the Taiwanese
   business at a really expensive restaurant.  Throughout the dinner, the
   president tries to bring up the subject of opening the accounts for the
   Taiwanese businessman.  However, the prospective client only seems to be
   interested in the president's secretary. After the dinner, the
   businessman asks the secretary to spend the rest of the evening seeing
   the sights in Taipei with him. Not wishing to offend the prospective
   client, the president orders his secretary to spend some time with the
   man. He tells her that she must be diplomatic and under no
   circumstances is she to insult the man by rejecting him outright.
   
   After going to a dance club for a few hours, the businessman takes the
   secretary aside.  As he holds her hand and looks her straight in the eyes, 
   he tells her that he loves her.  Then, he gets on his knees and asks her to 
   marry him.
   
   Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers
   what her boss told her. Don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries
   to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry
   her. So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only
   marry you under three conditions. First, , I want my engagement ring
   to be a 75 carat diamond ring, with a matching 200 carat diamond tiara."
   
   The Taiwanese man pauses for awhile.  Then, he nods his head and says "No
   problem!!  I buy.  I buy."
   
   Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says to the man, 
   "I want you to build me a 100 room mansion in New York.  As a vacation home,
   I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France."
   
   The man pauses for awhile.  He whips out his cellular phone, calls some 
   brokers in New York, then he calls some brokers in France.  He looks at the 
   woman, nods his head and says, "Okay, okay.  I build, I build."
   
   Realizing that she has one last condition, the secretary knows that she'd
   better make this a good one.  She takes her time to think and finally, she 
   gets an idea.  A sure-to-work condition.  She squints her eyes, looks at 
   the man and says, rather coldly, "Since I like to have sex, I want the man 
   I marry to have a 12-inch penis."
   
   The man seems a bit disturbed.  He cups his face with his hands and rests his
   elbows on the table.  All the while, he's muttering something in Chinese.
   Finally, after what seemed like forever, the man shakes his head, looking 
   real sad, says to the woman, "I cut. I cut."