CULTURAL DIFFERENCES EXPLAINED

   Aussies:   Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (English) when abroad.
   Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
   Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
   English:   Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

   Aussies:   Believe you should look out for your mates.
   English:   Believe you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
   Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves.
   Canadians: Believe that that's the Governments job.

   Aussies:   Are extremely patriotic about their beer.
   Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
   Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.
   English:   Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.

   Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
   Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
   English:   Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels.
   Aussies:   Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there watches, to Britain, where everyboby loves them.

   Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
   English:   Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
   Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
   Aussies:   Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they play them in.

   Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it 'English'.
   English:   Pronounce words differently, but still call it 'English'.
   Canadians: Spell like the English, pronounce like the Americans.
   Aussies:   Add 'G'day' and 'Mate' and add a heavy accent to everything they say in an attempt to get lucky.

   English:   Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
   Aussies:   Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
   Americans: Cross the Southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backward country.
   Canadians: Cross the Southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backward country.

   Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
   Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
   English:   Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
   Aussies:   Drink anything with alcohol in it.

   Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
   Canadians: Seem to think that wealth and success are morally suspect.
   English:   Seem to think that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things.
   Aussies:   Seem to think that none of this matters after a few beers.