Date: Wed, 28 Aug 1996 22:06:40 -0500
From: "KORPI, KEN" 
Subject: IBM ADVISORY

Mouse Balls

IBM's Mouse Balls Standardization....

This is an actual alert for IBM Field Engineers that went out to all 
IBM Branch Offices. The person who wrote this was very
serious. The rest of us find it rather funny.


Abstract:	Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit)

Mouse balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to
operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball 
replacement.

Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse
balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the
underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than
foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the
manufacturer of the mouse.

Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls 
are replaced using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static
sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.

Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse can- be used 
immediately. It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for
maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer 
missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary 
items.

To re-order, specify one of the following:

PIN 33F8462 - Domestic Mouse Balls
PIN 33F8;~61 -Foreign Mouse Balls

I enjoyed this one.
KK

---------------  ----------
credit: Claire Abel

New Program from Microsoft: Girlfriend 4.0

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0
(marketing name: Fiancee1.0).

Recently he upgraded Fiancee1.0 to Wife1.0 and it's a memory hogger, 
has taken all his space; and Wife1.0 must be running before he can do 
anything. Although he didn't ask for them, Wife1.0 came with Plug-Ins such as
Mother-In-Law and Brother-In-Law.

Some features I'd like to see in the upcoming GirlFriend4.0... A "Don't
remind me again" button - Minimize button - Shutdown feature - An
install shield feature so that Girlfriend4.0 can be completely 
uninstalled if so desired (so you don't lose cache and other objects)

I tried running Girlfriend 2.0 with Girlfriend 1.0 still installed, 
they tried using the same I/O port and conflicted.

Then I tried to uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 but it didn't have an 
uninstall program.

I tried to uninstall it by hand, but it put files in my system directory.

Another thing that sucks -- >in all versions of Girlfriend that I've 
used is that it is totally "object orientated" and only supports hardware 
with gold plated contacts.

*****  BUG WARNING  ********
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 
before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing 
the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming
insufficient resources.