A Minnesota Winter

August 12:  Moved to our new home in Minnesota.  Beautiful here.  
The northern woods are so majestic.  Can hardly wait for snow. 
I love it here.

October 14:  Minnesota is the most beautiful place on earth.  
The leaves have turned colors-shades of red and orange.  
Went for a ride through the country and saw some deer.  They
are so graceful...certainly they are the most beautiful animals 
on earth. I really love it here.

November 11:  Deer season will start soon.  I can't imagine 
anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature.  Hope it will 
snow soon.  What a beautiful place.

December 12:  Snowed last night.  Woke up to find everything 
blanketed with white.  It looks like a postcard!  We went outside 
and cleared the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. 
We had a snow ball fight (I won), and when the snow plow came 
by, we got to shovel the driveway again.  What a beautiful place.  
I love Minnesota.

December 14:  More snow last night.  I love it.  The snow plow did 
his trick to the driveway again.  It's so great here.

December 19:  More snow last night.  Couldn't get out of the driveway 
to get to work.  I am exhausted from shoveling.  Fucking snow plow.

December 22:  More of that white shit fell last night.  I have blisters on 
my hands from shoveling.  I think the snow plow hides around curves 
and waits until I'm done shoveling the driveway.  Asshole.

December 25:  Merry Fucking Christmas!  More fucking snow.  If  I 
ever get my hands on the son-of-a-bitch who drives that snow 
plow, I swear I'll kill the bastard.  Don't know why they don't use 
more salt on the roads to melt the fucking ice.

December 27:  More white shit fell last night.  Been inside for three 
days--except for shoveling the driveway after that snow plow 
goes through.  Can't go anywhere--the car's stuck in a mountain 
of white shit.  The weatherman says to expect 19" of the shit again 
tonight.  Do you know how many shovels of snow 19" is?

December 28:  The fucking weatherman was wrong.  We got 
34" of  that white shit this time.  At this rate, it won't melt before 
next summer. The snow plow got stuck up the road and that 
bastard came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel.  
After I told him I had broken six shovels already shoveling 
all the shit he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last shovel 
over his fucking head.

January 4:  Finally got out of the house today.  Went to the 
store to get food and on the way back a damned deer ran 
in front of my car and I hit it.  Did $3000 damage to the car.  
Those fucking  beasts should be killed.  Wish the hunters 
would have killed them all last November.

May 3:  Took the car to the garage in town.  Would you 
believe the thing is rusting out from all that fucking salt 
they put all over the road?

May 10:  Moved to Georgia.  I can't imagine why anyone 
in their right mind would ever live in that god forsaken 
state of  Minnesota!!!