From:	Jessie Wiggin [SMTP:jwiggin@keene.edu]
 
 Q:  And why did Sonny Bono ski into the tree?
A:  It's always been a good political move to keep up with the Kennedys.
 	      
 What's the title of Sonny Bono's new hit single? 
 "I Got Yew, Babe...."
 	      
 Why did Sonny die in a ski accident? 
 After being a mayor and a congressman, he wanted to be a Kennedy.
 	      
 Police reported Sonny's passing was a quick death. Just like his solo career....
 	      
 How was the body found?
 Sonny side up.
 	      
How do we know Sonny was a politician at heart? 
At the very end, he was stumping.
 	      
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 What's the difference between John Denver and Michael Kennedy?
 
 John Denver made it alive out of Aspen.
 	      
Has Elton John re-written any of his songs for Michael Kennedy? 
Not yet, but he's done one about the tree: "I'm Still Standing"
 	      
How can you be sure that Michael was really a Kennedy? 
 Check the family tree.
 	      
How will the priest begin Michael Kennedy's eulogy?
"We are gathered here together on this slalom occasion...."
 	      
A simple accident? Some witnesses insist there was a second tree 
at  the snow-covered knoll...
 	      
What do Michael and JFK Jr's magazine "George" have in common?
 	 - -- Wood pulp.
 	      
New bumper sticker...."Plant A Tree....Kill A Kennedy...."
 	      
What's an event you don't want to be at? 
 	 - -- A Michael Kennedy New Year's Bash
 	      
What will it take to reunite the four Kennedy brothers? 
 	 A1:  One more bullet.
 	 A2:  A season lift pass.
 	      
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Diana's new title: Princess of Walls
 	      
 What's the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life? 
 	 Taxi!
 	      
What did the Queen say when she heard Princess Diana died in a car accident? 
 Was Fergie with her?
 	      
 Why was Elton John invited to the funeral?
 So at least one old queen would be seen crying in public.
 	      
 Why did Elton John perform at the funeral? 
 The Crash Test Dummies were unavailable.
 	      
 What does George Burns and Princess Diana have in common? 
 They both died when they hit 100.
 	      
 What's harder than getting red wine off carpeting? 
 Getting Di off the upholstery. 
 	      
 What was the official cause of Princess Diana's death? 
 Car-pole-tunnel syndrome.
 	      
 Prince William and Harry were at a Spice Girls concert and they were
 escorted backstage to meet the scantily clad performers. After chatting
 with the no talent hussies for about 15 minutes the younger Prince Harry
 whispers to his older brother, "Ya know, this is the most cleavage I've seen
 since Mummy left for her trip to Paris!"
 	      
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 Why was Louise Woodward fired from her new job at McDonald's after only one week?
 She kept giving kids free shakes.