Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them 
was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old 
lady reached into her purse,  took out a condom, cut 
off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued 
to smoke. 
    
    Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! 
What is it that  you put over your cigarette?" The other 
old lady said, "It's a condom."
 
    "A condom? Where do you get those?" The lady with 
the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase 
condoms at the pharmacy. 
    
    When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old 
lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy 
and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The 
pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised 
that this old woman was interested in condoms. He 
asked her, "What size do you want?" 
    
    The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One 
that will fit a Camel."

***************      
NURSE NANCY 

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day 
complaining about Nurse Nancy. "She's incredibly 
dumb," said one doctor. "She does everything 
absolutely backwards.  
 
Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams 
of percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams 
every 2 hours. He damn near died on us!" 
 
The second doctor said, "That's nothing. Earlier this 
week, I told her to give a patient an enema every 24 
hours. She tries to give him 24 enemas in one hour! 
The guy damn near exploded!" 
 
Suddenly, they hear this blood-curdling scream from 
down the hall. "Omigod!" said the first doctor, "I just 
realized I told Nurse Nancy to prick Mr. Smith's boil!"